Contact v2.0

Sometimes you need to abandon email, mobile devices, etc... And just PICK UP THE PHONE!

I came home from the gym at 6:30 am and there was still no email response from Dr Rusbridge so I called over to her office in London. Her assistant was very sweet and helpful. Apparently, she has been emailing me but the messages never made it to my inbox(or spam box, which I've been checking nearly hourly.) SO GLAD I CALLED!!! Now, with the proper address and other info, I am on my way to the bank to get an international bank cheque and then we shall overnight all of Riley's stuff. Hopefully, in a few days, we might have her expert recommendation.

Of course, all of this has me thinking...

I think I've been hoping that she will make a clear-cut, "Yes you must" or "No, you mustn't" recommendation. On some level, this would alleviate some of the responsibility that comes with having to make this kind of decision for a loved one. Of course, there is the possibility that she could come back with an equivocal recommendation and that would leave us right back where we are now- totally torn. I suppose, on some basic level, I need to come to terms with the reality that Michael and I still ultimately must make this decision and be able to live with it, either way. However I may wish to emotionally abdicate responsibility and let someone else step in and take control (and "be on the hook" for the consequences) it's just now hitting me that even the choice of following Dr. Rusbridge's ultimate recommendation is still a choice that I/ we would be making. In the end, I want to do what's best for Riley. Nearly equally important, however, is that we make a choice that we both can live with and that will not haunt us for years to come, regardless of the outcome.